Formal Letter

Dear Professor Blackstone,

The purpose of me writing to you is to give you a brief introduction of myself and my background. My full name is Shawn Pang Jun Jie and I am currently a student in Sustainable Infrastructure Engineering (Land). I was from Singapore Polytechnic with a diploma in mechanical engineering. During my time studying in Singapore Polytechnic, I developed a greater interest in engineering and therefore, I decided to study for a degree in engineering in university.

To me, my communication weakness is the lack of vocabulary when writing. An experience was when I had a group project about an engineering topic and I had to do research about that topic. I was also required to present my research findings in a proposal format. When I was trying to rephrase what I researched into simpler words for easy understanding, I found it hard as I struggled to find the words with similar meaning to rephrase.

However, I feel that one of my communication strengths is that I am able to speak confidently in front of a group of people. One of such experience was during class presentation where I had to stand in front of my class to present my project. Although I was nervous, I was able to project my voice properly such that my classmates could hear.

Throughout this module, I hope to broaden my vocabulary and be able to speak and write more fluently. This will benefit myself in the future when I am writing my own resume to apply for a job and also when I am communicating with others. Also, I hope to be more confident when I am speaking in front of larger groups of people. I will be able to communicate my thoughts to my audience more effectively and I will also be more fluent in my speaking.

Yours sincerely,

Shawn Pang

Edited 18 Sep 2017

Edited 24 Sep 2017

Read and commented: Amos, Lewis

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3 thoughts on “Formal Letter

  1. Hello Shawn,

    I feel that we have the same problem when it comes to vocabulary, lets work hard together to accomplish our goals.
    Here are some feedback from me.
    -In the first paragraph, as mentioned in the latest lecture, you can drop the capital in “Diploma in Mechanical Engineering”.
    -I think you should write a new paragraph for your strengths instead of combining it together with your weaknesses. This makes it easier for readers to read.

    Hope this helps,
    Amos

    Like

  2. Dear Shawn,

    Thank you for this clear and concise yet detailed letter. I like how you provide concrete supports for your weakness and strength. I also appreciate the smooth flow/coherence of your ideas.

    There are a few areas where your language use needs review:

    1) To me, I felt that one of my communication weakness… >>> (verb tense/redundancy)
    2) However, I felt that one of my communication strength is that I am able to speak confidently in front of a group of people. One of such experience is… (verb tense/use of ‘one’)
    However, I feel that one of my communication strengthS is that I am able to speak confidently in front of a group of people. One such experience WAS…
    3) This will benefit myself in the future… >>> (wrong use of reflexive pronoun)

    I look forward to working with you this term.

    Brad

    Like

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